Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you

Hi!

:)

I just wanted to pop by and give everyone a big thank you for all your prayers while my family is going through these hard times. Everything is going a little better right now, we had the funeral and it was beautiful, I believe my papa would be very proud of it. We've been staying this whole week with my grandma and helping her with these troubled times and it was good to see her laugh and eat more today while we were telling funny stories of my papa when my dad was growing up. Like it says in Proverbs 17:22a:

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine..."

But it was just a blessing to see her look better, though I know these will be hard times for her I am glad that we live close together (15 min away) and that she knows that family will always be here for her. I believe this is a sense of a closing though we know that the ones we love are always there with us in our hearts, it brings a sense of peace within ourselves. Because I know that one day I will see my papa again in heaven and it will be A JOYFUL FAMILY REUNION!

The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

I feel so weird right now because I don't have my laptop...well I do have it but the cord died and now it is not working and in this age of technology, I feel like I really don't have nothing to do :D

I Wonder how do people in the past deal with all this boredom???

lol.

I'm trying to be happy right now because my grandpa just died early Tuesday morning from what we think was a massive heart attack, but we have to wait for the autopsy results to comeback in which they said would take two days now will probably take months. It's a little frustrating right now.

When this just happened, I went into complete shock because though I am not showing my emotions on the outside, I feel so heavy inside. But I felt that yesterday I went out for a run and I found a little secluded spot that just seemed like a perfect place to just express how I feel and to just let everything out, when things happen so sudden and you just don't know what happens people tend to blame the Lord about it but when I looked around and saw thrown out beer bottles I picked up a stick from the ground and wrote in big letters "God is Good and God is right, he is good both day and night." And I sang that song:

God is good and God is right, God is good both day and night, he's always good so never fear he's always right and always near.

And I just sat down and thanked the Lord for all the blessing that he has given me through out my life and just thanked him for LOVING ME SO MUCH, I just cried.
I don't understand, because the Lord has his reasons, but I am hurting so much right now because I love him (though I didn't do as I should have) and I will miss him because he always called me his 'baby girl' and right now all these memories with him when I was a little kid is just flooding back into my mind. I remember when I went over there in January and that was the last time I saw him and I went there to fill out my scholarship forms and it was just him and my grandma and nobody else, and he told me that he loved me comming over when not all the family is there because I could spend more quality time with them, because we were always busy during family gatherings. And now I wish I did that more often because it hurts so much right now.

But now I just worry for my family my grandma, and my dad, and my aunt because this is affecting each and everyone of us in different ways. But now I sit here and think that my papa won't be there for my graduation, for my wedding, or when I have my own children, I just miss him and I want to give him a big hug and tell him that I love him for loving me. But I know he's in heaven with the Lord now, and I just pray that the Lord will give me strength. Strength for myself and my family. I am just so glad that the Lord is good, and he has a plan for everything in my life.

During my bible reading I decided to open a psalms because when I feel down, I feel that it just helps me through because though David faces trials and tribulations he has peace with himself because he knows that the Lord is with him and will help him. And I read Psalms 116 and it helped me last night with so many things.

I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.

2Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

3The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.

4Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.

5Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

6The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

7Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.

8For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

9I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

10I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:

11I said in my haste, All men are liars.

12What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?

13I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.

14I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.

15Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

16O LORD, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.

17I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD.

18I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.

19In the courts of the LORD's house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the LORD.

And through out this time I've been listening to this song over and over because the words have touched my heart.

Please listen.

The Lighthouse - West Coast Baptist College

But through the end of all of this, this is for my good and for His glory
and I thank everyone and there prayers.

And I know that I will get through this though it will take one step at a time my God will help me through and he has a big plan for me though I might lose ones that I love, he is my strength and my fortress, a strong a mighty tower that I can run too, and as I said before God is so good.

I'm here to chase away these tears...Where we can chase away all these fears

This post might not make a lot of sense right now and will probably be deleted soon. I just need to write right now. Because yeah....

In the times that I just want to be by myself and regather my thoughts and just actually think about things without no one telling you how they feel about some situation, I wish that I had a bench that overlooks everything and just feel like I'm on top of the world and just be myself.

EDIT: PARTS OF THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED.

Grab yourself a cup of coffee....and just relax

I feel like I'm about to posting a lot of things tonight because I am seriously bored.

lol.

On another post I said that I love to meditate, dream, and think. But I also love to read, when I have time I love to get a good book and just read. So I'm gonna make some recommendations if you love to read as well.

So find a comfortable place to sit and relax, make some french vanilla coffee, or what you like the best, grapes and crackers, a blanket and some smoothing piano music and enjoy your time reading.

***SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING NOVELS THAT YOU SHOULD READ***

1. Redeeming Love

In this splendid retelling of the biblical story of Hosea, bestselling author Francine Rivers pens a heartbreaking romance between a prostitute and the upright and kind farmer who marries her; the story also functions as a reminder of God's unconditional love for his people. Redeeming Love opens with the Gold Rush of 1850 and its rough-and-tumble atmosphere of greed and desire. Angel, who was sold into prostitution as a child, has learned to distrust all men, who see her only as a way to satisfy their lust. When the virtuous and spiritual-minded Michael Hosea is told by God to marry this "soiled dove," he obeys, despite his misgivings. As Angel learns to love him, she begins to hope again but is soon overwhelmed by fear and returns to her old life. Rivers shines in her ability to weave together spiritual themes and sexual tension in a well-told story, a talent that has propelled her into the spotlight as one of the most popular novelists in the genre of Christian fiction. This is one of her best. --Cindy Crosby

I fell in love with this book instantly it is a must read.


2. The Princess

Product Description

Now with a new cover, Lori Wick’s bestselling contemporary love story The Princess (over 200,000 copies sold) will reach even more readers.
In the Land of Pendaran, Shelby Parker lives a humble but good life. Her special qualities are eventually noticed by the king and queen of the House of Markham, who seek a new wife for their widowed son, Prince Nikolai.

To uphold the tradition of their country, Shelby and Nikolai agree to an arranged marriage. But while Nikolai is a perfect gentleman in public, he remains distant at home, leaving Shelby to wonder what is in his heart. Will the prince ever love her as he did his first wife? Can the faith they share overcome the barriers between them?

From the Back Cover

She’s so special already, Lord, Daria Parker prayed. Now she has You, and I can’t help but wonder if You might have something very remarkable and unfamiliar for our Shelby.

In the Land of Pendaran, lively, affectionate Shelby Parker was born to a simple life—yet her mother, Daria, and those around her cannot help but notice the graces she possesses. Among those taking note of Shelby’s winsome ways and tender heart are the king and queen of the House of Markham, who are seeking a new wife for their widowed son, Prince Nikolai.

To uphold a long-cherished tradition of the country, Shelby and Nikolai agree to an arranged marriage. But while Nikolai is a perfect gentleman at public functions, he remains distant and shy at home, leaving Shelby to ponder the inner workings of his heart. Will the prince ever love her as he did his first wife? Can the faith they share overcome the barriers between them?

A contemporary story of honor and commitment freely given and richly rewarded

Lori Wick is one of my favorite authors, The Yellow Rose Trilogy is my favorite with (A Texas Sky, that is part of that series is one of my favorite books)


So here are just some recommendations for you, if you love to read, you will not be dissapointed.

Photos...

Here are some photo's

I really liked this one though it is really simple. It was raining that day and me and my friend Meagan went out to eat that day at a marvelous burrito place *the best one in the world* And were screaming the whole time on the road, when we were supposed to do our Physics project *which we did do :P* And when we were done we went out to the golf courses and had some fun out there.

Me and my friend Meagan

I really need a camera so I can take more pictures.
I love photography but I don't have a camera.

So sad.....

And when your on your way down through the clouds...

Meditation: continued or extended thought; reflection; contemplation

Through out the years of my life, I have found my self to be a meditator, a dreamer, and a thinker. Sometimes it's really just those moments to myself that help me obtain a tranquil sense of surrounding when everything else seems chaotic.

I love rainy weather. Just the rain and just a little hint thunder in the distance, but no lightning *shakes head no*. Which is funny because most people love sunny weather because it symbolizes happiness, while rainy weather reflects the opposite.

"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a Rainbow"

Though I love to feel the burst of sunshine through my skin, rather than cold air that makes me shiver to my bones. I find myself more through rainy weather. I tend to be more thoughtful and peaceful. I remember as a child that we had those screen doors and though you always heard the weather man say to 'STAY AWAY FROM WINDOWS AND DOORS, ect...' I found myself doing the opposite, and opening the screen of the door and just sitting on the floor and just watching the rain. I always wanted to go out and twirl through the rain and singing that song from Barney about the rain which I cannot remember :D But I was always stuck watching the rain and daydreaming. But my favorite part was when it was over, and you would see a rainbow and just the smell, it's one of my favorite smells, to me it's like a perfume or something that the Lord created for us to enjoy.

I am glad that we are able to just sit and meditate because honsetly I don't know what I would do if I never sat down a just think about things, because when everything is just going wrong. I can sit a meditate and talk to my Lord and just let everything go.

"My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD." Psalms 104:34 KJV

For my Good and For his Glory

"For my Good and For His Glory" - In my life today I look around and almost I am surrounded daily around wordly things, whether it is in school, shopping, even on the computer, I am filled with temptations and discouragement. But then I have to remind myself that I have a Lord Jesus Christ who loves me and died for my sins that all he ask's for me to do is to spread his word and be a living testimony for him. For my Good and For his Glory is a song that has touched my heart and my life, that it is an encouragement for me everytime I hear the song, because I know that if I live my life for Jesus Christ that it is for my good and for his glory. Here are the lyrics.


I must admit I don't understand,
Why God would let me face this painful circumstance,
All I have to cling to is His word and His name,
But that's enough so I will trust
Chorus: It's for my good and for his glory,
This trial's not the end of the story,
There's a bigger picture God alone can see,
It will take me through this sorrow
For I know he hold tommorow,
And he assures me, it's for my good and for His Glory
I love the Lord and he has promised me,
He'll work all things for good,
through my tears I believe, that his ways are higher than any of my own,
and though my heart aches,
He makes no mistake
Chorus.
Though I would not have chosen the suffering that has come,
I'm willing now to say,
'Lord not my will but thine be done'
Chorus.


This song has touched me so many times, I just always remember that though sometimes I may be facing a trial, or may be discouraged that he is always there and that He loves me, no matter what I have done.
My name is Vivana Hayhurst and I am seventeen years old, and live in Wichita Falls, TX, I was born in El Paso, TX (in which I miss living there all the time) and am a blood-washed born again Christian. I was saved in Oct. 2006 I was 14 and it was the first time our church and youth department held our first Extreme Night (which was a Friday Night activity to bring in teens around the city to have fun and hear the word of God) I can remember that I was almost not allowed to go that night, because I got in trouble in school that day (I don't rememeber what happened specificly, but I think they were about my grades) Right now I believe that it was Satan who did not want me going that night but finally I was allowed to go.
I was raised in church all my life and thought that I was saved at a young age, but as time progressed I began to doubt about my salvation, to me I thought we'll I'm in church and doing everything I can for the Lord but I felt a void in my life. I remember going to my old youth pastor and talking to him, but I quickly drew away and made myself believe that I was saved. But finally on that glorious day, The Lord forgave me of my sins and now I have eternal life with him forever more.
When I was twelve years old I made a commitment that changed my life, At Triple S Christian Ranch, it was my first year going to chuch camp and I surrendered my life to the Mission Field, and gave up my worldly ways. But let me tell you that when I came home I was 'fired' up to serve the Lord and then was torn down. At times my family and friends in school didn't understand my decisions, and I struggled with my walk with the Lord, because I soon to realize something about myself is that I do whatever I can to please people, and though I know that in the Bible we are not supposed to serve man but the Lord, I had my struggles.

But I always remember this verse:

The Lord is my light and my
salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the
strength of my life; of whom shall
I be afraid?

I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to save me and give me things that I know that I don't deserve I thank him for giving me a family, a loving church, and friends to always be there when I need them. I hope that this is a blessing to you and whoever reads this. This is not all that goes on in my life but they are the BIG parts that made me who I am today.