The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

I feel so weird right now because I don't have my laptop...well I do have it but the cord died and now it is not working and in this age of technology, I feel like I really don't have nothing to do :D

I Wonder how do people in the past deal with all this boredom???

lol.

I'm trying to be happy right now because my grandpa just died early Tuesday morning from what we think was a massive heart attack, but we have to wait for the autopsy results to comeback in which they said would take two days now will probably take months. It's a little frustrating right now.

When this just happened, I went into complete shock because though I am not showing my emotions on the outside, I feel so heavy inside. But I felt that yesterday I went out for a run and I found a little secluded spot that just seemed like a perfect place to just express how I feel and to just let everything out, when things happen so sudden and you just don't know what happens people tend to blame the Lord about it but when I looked around and saw thrown out beer bottles I picked up a stick from the ground and wrote in big letters "God is Good and God is right, he is good both day and night." And I sang that song:

God is good and God is right, God is good both day and night, he's always good so never fear he's always right and always near.

And I just sat down and thanked the Lord for all the blessing that he has given me through out my life and just thanked him for LOVING ME SO MUCH, I just cried.
I don't understand, because the Lord has his reasons, but I am hurting so much right now because I love him (though I didn't do as I should have) and I will miss him because he always called me his 'baby girl' and right now all these memories with him when I was a little kid is just flooding back into my mind. I remember when I went over there in January and that was the last time I saw him and I went there to fill out my scholarship forms and it was just him and my grandma and nobody else, and he told me that he loved me comming over when not all the family is there because I could spend more quality time with them, because we were always busy during family gatherings. And now I wish I did that more often because it hurts so much right now.

But now I just worry for my family my grandma, and my dad, and my aunt because this is affecting each and everyone of us in different ways. But now I sit here and think that my papa won't be there for my graduation, for my wedding, or when I have my own children, I just miss him and I want to give him a big hug and tell him that I love him for loving me. But I know he's in heaven with the Lord now, and I just pray that the Lord will give me strength. Strength for myself and my family. I am just so glad that the Lord is good, and he has a plan for everything in my life.

During my bible reading I decided to open a psalms because when I feel down, I feel that it just helps me through because though David faces trials and tribulations he has peace with himself because he knows that the Lord is with him and will help him. And I read Psalms 116 and it helped me last night with so many things.

I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.

2Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

3The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.

4Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.

5Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

6The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

7Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.

8For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

9I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

10I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:

11I said in my haste, All men are liars.

12What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?

13I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.

14I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.

15Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

16O LORD, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.

17I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD.

18I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people.

19In the courts of the LORD's house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the LORD.

And through out this time I've been listening to this song over and over because the words have touched my heart.

Please listen.

The Lighthouse - West Coast Baptist College

But through the end of all of this, this is for my good and for His glory
and I thank everyone and there prayers.

And I know that I will get through this though it will take one step at a time my God will help me through and he has a big plan for me though I might lose ones that I love, he is my strength and my fortress, a strong a mighty tower that I can run too, and as I said before God is so good.